i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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