I cockslap morals
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
