sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
