i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
