made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
