I molested 6 butterflies tonight
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
