No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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