the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
