your thong is hanging out like whoa
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
