well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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