P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
