eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
