i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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