so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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