there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
