You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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