did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
