so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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