just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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