I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
and she was petting her beer can
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
