k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
