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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  My breath smells like dick and biscuits..

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.

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