where am i from again
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
