So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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