is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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