So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize