even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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