one two three fourrrrnication!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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