you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
