you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
