He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
