The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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