Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
