listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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