i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize