I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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