Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
