That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize