I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
