My first STD was from a foam party
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
