Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Randomize
