Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
