We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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