Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
