I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he laminated a picture of his dick.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
