Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
