youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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