I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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