Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
