I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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