i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
