I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
