mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
