THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
