Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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