her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
